Thursday, 29 October 2015

Healthy Mind First Healthy Body Second



Hello Everyone

So recently I've been feeling a little bit up and down, really motivated one day, abit down in the dumps the next, full of beans one minute, exhausted the next.. and when I talk to my friends this seems to be a reoccurring theme. Everyone's going through their own shit. Having just turned 26 and most of my friends being of a similar age, I was trying to explore whether this was age related... is it a mid-20's meltdown? Is the fact that the big 3 0 is looming a little too close for comfort? Then I thought no, even when I was 18... 21... 23 I always had my ups and downs. I guess this is what we call life, it can't always be rosy can it... But isn't there a way to lighten the load?



In the days where internet has become our everyday life and social media is everything, I think phones are 50% to blame for the downs we have. Don't get me wrong everyone has their own issues, it might be a bad relationship, it might be money worries, issues at work or with friends... but while all those worries are there, we also have the pressure of 'keeping up appearances' to thousands of people we probably have never even met. When was the last time you posted a picture of what's really going on? '£52 left in my bank account #ballin' ....or 'found my boyfriend cheating on me last night #funtimes' ....'my boss just threatened to sack me #yolo'. Let's get real none of us are going to do that, and for good reason too.

But the truth is we are all so busy pretending our life is great, like really great, exceptionally great.... That there's little form of therapeutic release for the real issues on our minds. We have to look rich, our career has to be going well, we have to look happy when in a relationship, or pretend were independent and loving life if single. No one wants to talk about their arguments or insecurities. Or how they feel lonely or sad. Surely all this pressure is a slight factor in the reason so many of us aren't as happy as we should be? I mean really, look at our lives. About 75% of people reading this blog will live in London. With a few worldwide exceptions (hi to you guys I see you!). So living in London in 2015 it's safe to say most of you have a roof above your head at night, money in your pocket and food in your belly. We're in a city full of career opportunities, one of the least discriminative cities in the world in my opinion (although there's still some work to be done), but generally your race, sex or religion shouldn't massively impact on your opportunities. We have a great healthcare system and are living longer than any generation before us. We live in a democracy not a communist regime. SO WHY ARE WE ALL SO BLOODY MISERABLE?!



Put your life into perspective. Figure out what's bringing you down. Is it work? If so, is it time to look at a new path? Is it a relationship? If so, is it time to walk away from it. Is it friends? One thing I've learnt is if friends bring you ANYTHING but happiness, you need to cut that shit off and walk away. I guess the same applies to relationships. Even family sometimes (luckily i'm blessed with the best family in the world) but I know from experience some people aren't so lucky. Toxic people are like cancer. And they will get inside you and spread until you become as fucked up as they are. Until they take your happiness away from you for whatever reason. It might be to knock your confidence because they're insecure. It might be because they're unhappy and your happiness sickens them. It might be jealousy. Whatever the reason, identify those souls and remove them from your life. You'll thank yourself for it. A relationship is meant to make you happy. Friends are meant to be people you can lean on. Family are meant to be the one thing above all others that you can rely on when you need help. If they aren't fulfilling those roles in your life, they probably need to be given a wide berth.

My Seven Steps To A Healthier Mind 

1. Identify The Cause
I've been trying to identify the reasons I feel down when I do. Is it hormonal? Ladies you know what I'm on about. If so ride it out and try and keep cool until you're back to normal and the monthly visit from satan is done. If it's something else, within your control, such as a job you're unhappy in, the place you live in - try to change it.

2. Be Thankful
One thing I've been trying to do recently is count my blessings. Sometimes that selfish little gremlin peaks over my shoulder and tells me to throw a tantrum. Have a meltdown. Whinge and complain about my problems. But I'm consciously trying to avoid that. I have a chat with homeless people on my way home, find a little about their lives and situations. That shit really keeps you humble. Write a list of all the things you are lucky to have. This might be materialistic, it might be more about the people around you and good health.

3. Distract Yourself 
Figure out what works as a good distraction technique for you. It might be a hobby, it might be to paint, or cook, or write. For me this is always gym. I am a phone-a-holic, you will never see me without my phone in my hand... but when I'm in the gym it goes on the side and won't be touched for 2/3 hours. When I leave the gym I feel a 10 but I may have entered feeling like a 1.

4. Treat Yourself 
Make sure you have something to look forward to. Book weekend breaks away, plan a holiday, book a spa day or a meal out. Don't forget to LIVE just because you're so busy living in the everyday moment of dull, repetitive, habitual life.

5. Don't Compare Yourself To Others 
Don't take social media too serious. Don't believe all that you see. I know several people in real life... who's social media depicts nothing of what's really going on. The life you see on social media is enviable, in reality I wouldn't change places with them for all the money in the world. Don't let social media make you question yourself as a person. It really is not that deep.

6. Set Goals
Set yourself goals, aims, give yourself something to work towards. I do this quite alot, whether it's money motivated or something more personal, everyone needs a reason to wake up in the morning, and with goals in place this makes it far easier to stay focussed and get yourself out of bed on a positive note.

7. Keep Good Company 
Finally surround yourself with positive people who do positive things. People who inspire you to do better. I never feel worse than when I'm low on motivation and around people who drag me down. If you're around complacent people you start to become complacent. When you're around negative people you start to become negative. My number of friends took a big drop over the past few years. But the ones I do have, I NEVER argue with, and only ever support me. I never ever question whether their friendship is real. I don't get backhanded compliments from them, there's never sly looks or bitchiness. I know that if I needed something they would be there in a second and if I have a problem I can talk it out with them. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. Keep a few real ones by you and it makes life that little bit easier..... Below you can see a few of my real ones :)








I'm no motivational speaker, this is as much for me as it is for you... sometimes we need a little reminder of all the great things in life, especially as winter creeps in and the nights get darker.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and a positive week, a healthy body is no use when you have an unhealthy mind... but always remember we need the bad times to appreciate the good...x


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19 comments

  1. Reading this just gave me goosebumps and a whole different perspective on certain things, alot of what you shared I can relate to as I'm sure many can. It's refreshing and inspirational. How one person can change someone's mood in such a positive way only pushes me to share the good energy x

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  2. Just what I needed to hear. Thanks for the positivity babes x

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  3. Bloody Elll! Ciara I love you and am SO thankful you sent this to me now. You are SO gifted in words & in spirit. Your insight is much needed to help this world become more bright. Thank you again. 💓 Your bitch from the LBC!

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  4. Thank you for all of the above. Couldn't agree more. We forget how powerful we are as people and that we are in control of our own happiness. we can make the changes where possible. Happy that you're part of my positive, supportive and motived environment xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  5. Thank you for all of the above. Couldn't agree more. We forget how powerful we are as people and that we are in control of our own happiness. we can make the changes where possible. Happy that you're part of my positive, supportive and motived environment xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  6. This is the truth! Thank you all the way from Long Beach, CA

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  7. I love this! Think you got it spot on x

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  8. Great read Ciara. All very true. Keep shining
    Xx

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